Monday, January 17, 2011

What Happened to Miss Independent?

Well, it seems as though a broken heart is a little bit immobilizing. It has been about two weeks since my boyfriend dumped me. He was my best friend. We did everything together. My life for some time now has revolved around him and his plans and his needs. I would have done anything for him and to make sure that he was happy. We were good friends before we started dating, and now... we don't even speak to each other. He felt his life going in a different direction and will be moving to another state here in a couple of months. There I was, motionless, thinking about my life and how I am stuck in the same place. I will still be living in the same apartment, keeping the same job, and I plan to do all of the same things I usually do. Not only is he moving away, but he is leaving me here and doesn't want me to have any part in his new life. For a couple of days after he left me, I moped. I wandered around my apartment and I slept a lot. I went out with friends a couple of times, but it didn't seem to help much. All I wanted was for him to call me and tell me he didn't mean anything he said and that he wasn't ready to move on... but, this is the real world, right? This is no romantic comedy... unfortunately.

One week had passed and I still had not heard from him at all. I started to get angry. I started to get upset. Not only had I lost him, but I had also lost the amazing group of friends that I had become close to through him. What a jerk! He did not care about my feelings at all! I cared about him so much and he couldn't have cared less! Ugh...

Well, its been two weeks now, and yes... I do still miss him. Even mentioning anything that has to do with him still makes me tear up a little. However, at this point... I will be taking the high road. I will choose to embrace the independent woman inside and do things for myself and that will make me happy. It is much more difficult said than done, but it will happen. I am trying to give myself time to heal, but yet... there is still that little hurt inside that does make it difficult to get out of bed in the morning. But, once I do make it out of bed... I just get myself a grande hazelnut latte with an extra shot made with soy milk and a very small amount of whipped cream and everything seems ok again. :)

I am making plans for my future, watching movies that are encouraging such as: legally blonde, the devil wears prada, and eat pray & love, and listening to music that I can't help but dance to. I have found that avoiding sad songs and movies, wearing cute sunglasses even when it's cloudy, and finding time to just relax, can be some of the best therapy.

I'm sure there will be more to come on the subject. But for now, all I ask, is that you keep me and my heart in your prayers.

-Brittany :0)


Marisa and Brittany said...

Aww... thank-you sweetheart for exposing yourself to all us! I'm so happy you're able to appreciate that awesome independent woman that we all do!

There's a little story about a donkey who was being buried alive. After he was thrown into the hole, he decided he wasn't going to let this setback rob him of his joy and his future. He decided that when his enemy shoveled dirt onto his back, he would shake it off and step up. Oh, sure it took effort on his part, but eventually he reached the top and the hole was buried beneath him.

I'm so proud of you Brittany for making the decision to shake off and step up as you work through the pain of your loss.

You will be in our prayers... as always!

Love you lots!


Scott said...

Glad to see you going through all the stages of grief. I do understand; have been there myself; even relatively recently. Life does indeed go on and here is the time to mention that God has already figured out how to make it go on even better!!!
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