Sunday, May 8, 2011

Relax and Replenish

So, here I am, finally settled in. I am finally acclimated here in Las Vegas and I am waiting to start my new job next Monday. However, now that things are settled and the excitement of my new home is starting to wear off, I am finding myself alone with books and thoughts.  It is so interesting to me that the more I pray the more I find that God answers my prayers in the most bizarre ways.

Recently, I have been begging for God to reveal himself to me.  For the past few years I have been struggling in my faith and I have not quite known where to go from here. I have been reading like crazy and studying everything I can and watching clips from speakers and attending churches. Yet, now I feel as though I have spent so much time trying to study that I, more than likely, missed all of the things God was trying to tell me.  Yes, I do feel as though God has opened all of the doors for me to be here today. Yes, I also feel as though God has protected me and provided for me in times when I felt like I might fall flat on my face.  Looking back over the last few months, God has had his hands in a lot of things that I have been through and it is so very apparent.

Being unemployed, I have been reading like crazy. This time, I have been what I will call "openly reading." I have been reading and at the same time, waiting for God to point out the parts he wants me to see. It has been one of the most eye opening things I have done yet... and at this point, there is no going back to plain old reading for me. During this time, I have read a collection of books that I already have that I had not read until recently. The first of these was Riven by Jerry Jenkins. Anyone who has the opportunity to read this book should definitely take it. This book made me laugh and cry at the same time, it made me angry, it made me rejoice, and it made me really appreciate the mountains that God can move if any of us will allow him to do it.  The second of these was a memoir called Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven, by Susan Jane Gilman. This book did not prove to be religious book in any way; however, it caused me to greatly appreciate everything God has provided for me in my life and the freedoms that I am able to exercise. The third of these, which I am currently reading, is called the Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne. This book has helped me to really look at the people around me and has brought about a lot of curiosity when it comes to looking at others and the longing to understand their stories and come to know them for who they are instead of passing judgment upon others. It also brought about the longing to really read every word the bible says and take it all in instead of quoting only my favorite bible verses, verses that pass along the particular message that I am trying to send at that time, and ignoring the rest of the verses as though they are not as valuable. 

I am really enjoying this free time that I have had to really spend with God reading, talking with him, and listening to everything he has had to say. I currently feel an overwhelming sense of peace, and I think this is a feeling that I would like to hold on to.


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